you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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