i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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