Can i not drive my cunt home
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
