I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
