she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
