I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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