I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
