I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
