There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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