i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
