Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize