Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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