Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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