is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
