people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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