He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
