Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
