Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
