Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
