I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
