yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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