yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
