OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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