I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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