she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just gargled with NyQuil
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
