dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
