Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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