Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
