Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
