Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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