doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
