fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
