My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
