Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize