if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
