OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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