O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
