Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
