There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize