there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
