I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
