did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
