You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
