we have officially lost it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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