We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
