im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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