Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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