Me. At least after what I've been through.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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