Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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