so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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