I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
