now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
A bitchslap is in order.
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