i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i now understand why vodka
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
