i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im having a threesome with these popsicles
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
