We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
