can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
