On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
