Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
high people should be assigned attendants
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
