who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
