Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
