He told me they were just razor bumps!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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