my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
