Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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